The Elf Service, Episode 21

In which Maddie Sharp, the Newsies and Irving Jefferson are finally in the same place at the same time

All over the city children post letters to Santa Claus and they go undelivered and unanswered. Until Irving Jefferson founds the Elf Service, that is. The Elf Service is the story of charity, journalism and mayhem, the extraordinary story of an extraordinary young man, his extraordinary plan to make Christmas happen for the children of his city and all the extraordinary ways in which that plan goes extraordinarily wrong.

On the dark waters of the river the luminous snow fell, the drifting white laying down into the swaying black and disappearing. At the unlit end of the docks there was a precarious old pier under which the water slapped and sighed, and on the pier was a ramshackle shed.

The shed had been made from the timbers of an ancient wooden ship and it appeared to miss its former station, for as the water heaved below, it creaked and heaved in sympathy, yearning to be at sea again.

In the shed a small brazier was lit and round it, in the shivering dark, crouched an unlikely collection. A ragged group of Newsies, every crevice in their perforated clothes stuffed with unsold newspaper to keep out the chill, Maddie Sharp, huddled into a coat that was more fashionable than it was warm, McNulty, who was trying to skulk in the shadows but was too cold to get that far from the fire, and Irving Jefferson, who appeared to be quite sufficiently heated by his own indignation.

“That double dyed, double entry, double crossing snake!” he shook his fist at the ceiling and the whole shed shook in agreement, “Have you seen what he’s done to the Service?”

“Have you seen what you’ve done?” said Maddie.

“What do you mean what I’ve done?” said Jefferson, “Krimble has taken all the Christmas out of it, he’s made it a form-filling, penny-pinching nightmare. I don’t know what’s worse, that he’s made it mean or that he’s made it boring! Boring! Christmas shouldn’t be boring!”

“It certainly isn’t when you’re around,” said Maddie, casting a rueful eye over the salt-lashed shack, “And how has he done this?”

“What do you mean,” said Jefferson, “By just being Krimble, I suppose.”

“And who has allowed him to be Krimble?” said Maddie.

“The…” Jefferson seemed actually lost for words for once, so dumbfounded was he by the question, “The council? What are you getting at?”

“You, you dummy!” said Tin Lizzie, who couldn’t stand it any more, “She means you!”

“Me!” said Jefferson, “What have I done?”

“I can’t imagine you don’t know,” said Maddie, “Everyone else does.”

Wilson stood up and took hold of the stack of papers he had been sitting on and threw it down in front of Jefferson. Maddie was genuinely worried for a moment that they would punch clear through the floor of the shed and bring the whole pier down after it, and them with it, following Jefferson’s face, which was on all the front pages, down into the black depths below.

Instead the pier just shook alarmingly and Jefferson just poked the pile with a scornful toe.

“And who did that, may I ask?” he said, lifting an eyebrow at Maddie, “Who told everyone what I’d done?”

“And why did I?” said Maddie in return, “What did I have to tell?”

Jefferson threw up his hands.

“I gave the money away!”

“Illegally,” said Maddie.

“In costume,” said Lizzie.

“Fraud, embezzlement, stealing,” said Maddie, “And now you’re on the run.”

“Because I haven’t done anything wrong,” said Jefferson.

“I, and I am not alone in this opinion,” said Maddie, “Beg to differ.”

“That’s just the laws,” said Jefferson and when Maddie scoffed, continued, “The laws are made by the rich to keep their hands clean and the poor under their thumbs.”

“You tell yourself that if it helps you sleep,” said Maddie, “But that’s not what I meant and you know it.”

“But he’s not wrong, is he?” said Lizzie, “We’re always getting pinched or moved on, just because some cop doesn’t like the look of us, no matter what we’ve done.”

“I am not talking about courts of law,” said Maddie, “I’m talking about a far more unforgiving judgement - the court of public opinion.”

“But everyone loved me,” said Jefferson, “Loved the Service, I mean.”

“Your confusion is telling,” said Maddie, “Because it's right. You were the Service in the eyes of the public and the Service was you. And they loved it all, until they didn’t. Until you betrayed them, which means the Service betrayed them.”

“But we didn’t do anything wrong,” said Lizzie.

“That doesn’t matter,” said Maddie, “If Jefferson hadn’t broken the law, then we’d all still being in a nice, cosy basement of the Hotel Metropolitan, instead of this freezing shack, but he did and here we are and there Krimble is. It was Jefferson that allowed Krimble to take charge of the Elf Service and cancel Christmas.”

“Which is why,” said Jefferson, pointing a finger at Maddie, “You should have allowed me to punish him, instead of stopping me. Us.”

He turned to McNulty, who shrank away from him in a desperate attempt not to be included.

“It was your idea,” said Jefferson.

“No it wasn’t,” said McNulty in panic, “I just told you about the gold.”

“What gold?” said The Captain, suddenly paying attention, “Like treasure?”

“Trophies,” said Maddie, “Krimble has a trophy cabinet in his office, McNulty saw it when he visited him to snitch on Jefferson. They were planning to steal them.”

“And do what with them?” said Lizzie, “You couldn’t pawn them, not with the fellow’s name on them and everything.”

“The child, not unexpectedly, is blessed with more criminal sense than either of you two men,” said Maddie, “Although perhaps ‘blessed’ is not the right word.”

“We were going to melt them down,” said Jefferson, defiantly.

“And what good would that have done you?” said Maddie.

“We could have shared out the proceeds,” said Jefferson, “And it would have given me immense satisfaction.”

“And there we are,” said Maddie, standing up.

“Now listen,” said Jefferson.

“No,” said Maddie, “Time for you to listen. Last time we spoke you talked a lot about teaching people lessons, but it seems to me that you have failed to learn any in the process.

“Midge, come here.”

Midge, who had been silently watching the proceedings and trying to stay as unnoticeable as possible, backed slightly in behind Lizzie and stared at Maddie, saying nothing.

“Yes, I know,” said Maddie, “And I’m sorry. Everyone keeps putting this thing on you, but I just need an example and I’m afraid you’re the best there is.”

She held out a hand and Midge reluctantly crossed to her. Maddie turned her to face Jefferson.

“This is low, even for you, Sharp,” said Jefferson.

“Not so low as you won’t try and limbo under it, I’m sure,” said Maddie, “Now, Midge, you started this whole thing, didn’t you? I’m not blaming you,” Midge had turned an offended stare on her, “I just mean you wrote a letter to Santa Claus that was the first one Jefferson got, didn’t you? You asked for a present, right?”

“A doll,” said Midge, quietly.

“A doll, which you have not yet received, have you?” said Maddie, “In fact you haven't had any present from the Elf Service yet, have you?”

“My landlady got vouchers,” said Midge, determined to tell the truth.

“But you didn’t,” said Maddie, “What, in fact, did you get?”

Midge turned her baleful stare on McNulty who quailed before it.

“I’m awful sorry,” he said in a wheedling voice.

“The sorry - in all senses - McNulty,” said Maddie, “The unfit father who is not even fit to be not a father. I won’t judge, maybe you were happy to get him as a father none-the-less. We all have to be happy with the parents we get lumbered with, at least to start with. But he’s not your father - are you?”

“I’m awful sorry,” said McNulty again.

“Just thought I better double check,” said Maddie, “So the one thing you were given, which you hadn’t asked for, was taken away from you anyway.

“All the way along, Jefferson, you’ve used Midge as your great example of what the Service can do and I think we can all agree that what the Service has done for her is make her life appreciably worse.”

“I’m a Newsie, now,” said Midge, defiantly.

“You’ll forgive me if I don’t entirely agree that's a good thing,” said Maddie.

“Hey,” said Lizzie.

“Midge,” said Jefferson, “I know everyone keeps saying sorry to you, and it’s not enough because it's just a word, it's just the wrapping paper with no actual recompense inside, but I am sorry, I truly am. And I swear I shall make it up to you.”

“Yes,” said Maddie, “You will.”

“By stealing Krimble’s trophies and melting them down!” said Jefferson.

“No,” said Maddie, “You won’t.”

“You can’t say the money wouldn’t help her,” said Jefferson.

“What I am saying,” said Maddie, “Is that I, like you, am just using her as an example. Possibly an extraordinary one, but still just an example. It's not a matter of making recompense just to her.

“You’re as responsible as anyone for what has happened to the Elf Service. It’s your irresponsibility that has allowed Krimble to take it over. And now he has, it’s your irresponsibility that means that hundreds of letters to Santa won’t go answered, hundreds of children won’t get presents, hundreds of Christmasses have been cancelled.

“You’d have to steal a lot of gold to make that up and that still wouldn’t help because you’d still be on the run and Krimble would still have the Elf Service in his cold little grip.

“It’s not just Midge you should be making recompense to, it’s all these kids. All the kids in the city, probably. Maybe all the adults too. Except Krimble, obviously. And you can leave me out. And probably best to skip my editor, he doesn’t go for this kind of thing.”

“And how do you expect me to do that?” said Jefferson, “As you say, I don’t have the means to and there are an awful lot of people determined to make it so I can’t.”

“You disappoint me, Irving Jefferson,” said Maddie, “In all kinds of ways, not least that you won’t even admit yet, that you should apologise, but in a whole new way too. What ever happened to the wily Irving Jefferson, the man of plots and plans, of disguises and wheezes and dodges, of fast talking and fast thinking?

“What did I expect you to do? I expected you to think of something. But never mind. As I observed earlier, we have keener criminal minds at our disposal.”

She turned to the Newsies.

“Lizzie, Captain, all of you,” said Maddie, “I want you to put your heads together - not literally, you’ll give each other nits. Let us indulge in a little Socratic dialogue.”

“Who do you want us to talk to, now?” said the Captain.

“Me,” said Maddie, “First of all, what was so great about the Elf Service?”

“We got steady work out of it,” said Lizzie. She knew that the answer to that one.

“I mean, apart from that,” said Maddie, “What did everyone else get out of it?”

“Presents,” said Wilson.

“The kids, yes,” said Maddie, “But what about everyone else? What made people work for it for free, give presents, support it?”

“Christmas,” said Midge, suddenly, “It was Christmassy.”

“It was Christmassy,” said Maddie, “And everyone liked that right?”

“Made them feel good to do good,” said Lizzie, sneaking a glance at Jefferson. This was one of his lines, after all.

“So what’s wrong with it now?” said Maddie

“Krimble,” said Lizzie, emphatically.

“Because?” said Maddie.

“He hates Christmas?” said the Captain, cottoning on.

“He hates Christmas,” said Maddie, “So the Service isn’t Christmassy any more. So how would we make it Christmassy again?”

“Get rid of Krimble,” said Lizzie.

“Get rid of Krimble,” said Maddie, “Now we’re getting somewhere.”

“But how?” said the Captain.

“How are we going to get him out, when he hates Christmas and the Service and everyone else loves Christmas and hates him? Any thoughts? Because I have some, and they involve a charity, a disguise and a plan for revenge.”

“You, lady,” said Jefferson, “Have come to the right place.”